A girlfriend at the gym once announced mid treadmill sprint session that
'we girls don't sweat, we sparkle'. Glancing down at my patchy grey workout
attire I couldn't quite keep a straight face; I definitely fucking sweat. On a
scale of 'incontinent drowned rat' to 'sparkling seductress' I'm a rat and damn
proud. But then unlike my 'shimmering' female counterpart, I go to the gym
to exercise more than just my fluttering eyelashes...
Anyway. The purpose of this background story wasn't so much
to inform the world of my sweating problem but to emphasise I'm certainly not
fazed by a gruelling workout. Ergo, I’m not exaggerating when I say Saturday
morning Boot Camp renders me unable to walk properly for 3 to 4 days. MINIMUM.
Having affectionately coined the class 'Booty' camp, (due to
the horrendous amount of time spent in a squat position) I’m expecting Kim
Kardashian style results any day now. And it’s not like there haven’t been
sacrifices; I completely abstained from the delights of an open bar
last Friday night (YEAH you read that right) in anticipation of Boot Camp’s sprightly 9am start.
Sad? Tick.
Sensible? Tick.
Sore? BIG FAT TICK.
I should really start by divulging some vital information:
Sad? Tick.
Sensible? Tick.
Sore? BIG FAT TICK.
I should really start by divulging some vital information:
This class is not for the faint hearted. Really, it will kick your ass and you will want to die. And the pain isn't over post-workout. Day to day
activities will be jeopardized and getting comfy in
bed at night takes a whole lot of wriggling
around. Oh and you can leave your dignity in Studio 2 as walking down the
stairs just isn't going to happen.
After a few classes though, you're gonna forget how it feels NOT to be in pain every move you make... and what you don't remember, can't hurt you right?! Now I'm well
aware I've made Boot Camp sound like the Hunger Games - but contrary to the gist of my review
so far, it's actually kind of…fun? (I can hear your haughty scoffs
of derision from here, but hear me out).
My first experience of this class was... harrowing. In a good way. As my workout-partner-in-crime Miki and I entered the studio we weren't quite sure what to expect. I remember thinking, 'I really hope this a good workout...I had Pizza last night'.
I needn't have worried.
Tibor, the instructor, had us in for a world of pain. The "warm up" involved various methods of traveling around the studio in a circle (running, skipping, and midget walking for extra pain) whilst the main body consisted of splitting into teams and sprinting, bunny hopping, crawling and lunging your way across the room as quickly as humanely possible without throwing up and/or having an asthma attack. If you get through the class without either of these two things happening, you definitely deserve the obligatory ‘team high-five’ on departure. (Kind of cheesy, but also makes me feel like a cheerleader).
I really love to compete (sorry not sorry) and racing against members of the other teams - most of whom probably don't even realise my burning desire to beat them/couldn't care less/think I'm a psycho - means I push myself super hard. It hurts, sure, but it gets me out of boring Saturday morning errands and into the skinniest of skinny jeans so...who's the real winner here?!
Back to the workout, (uh-uh there's more), the final part alternates cardio, plyometrics and a whole load of push ups. Masses of motherfucking push ups.Oh and just when you decide pretending to pass out is preferable to continuing, there comes the delightful tradition of holding a squat position for 2 minutes straight. NO REST. Tibor's assurance that a 70 year old client of his completes this hellish task makes it pretty hard to moan and groan when he says "just a few more seconds". He's fit too, so there's that... (However you can take a break when he's not looking. Just make sure it’s well timed, there are mirrors EVERYWHERE).
And then just like that, you're allowed to un-squat and you can hear your own thoughts again. It's over, as quickly as it begun, twice as painful and three times as ugly. (Yeah you're gonna look ugly. Embrace it).
My first experience of this class was... harrowing. In a good way. As my workout-partner-in-crime Miki and I entered the studio we weren't quite sure what to expect. I remember thinking, 'I really hope this a good workout...I had Pizza last night'.
I needn't have worried.
Tibor, the instructor, had us in for a world of pain. The "warm up" involved various methods of traveling around the studio in a circle (running, skipping, and midget walking for extra pain) whilst the main body consisted of splitting into teams and sprinting, bunny hopping, crawling and lunging your way across the room as quickly as humanely possible without throwing up and/or having an asthma attack. If you get through the class without either of these two things happening, you definitely deserve the obligatory ‘team high-five’ on departure. (Kind of cheesy, but also makes me feel like a cheerleader).
I really love to compete (sorry not sorry) and racing against members of the other teams - most of whom probably don't even realise my burning desire to beat them/couldn't care less/think I'm a psycho - means I push myself super hard. It hurts, sure, but it gets me out of boring Saturday morning errands and into the skinniest of skinny jeans so...who's the real winner here?!
Back to the workout, (uh-uh there's more), the final part alternates cardio, plyometrics and a whole load of push ups. Masses of motherfucking push ups.Oh and just when you decide pretending to pass out is preferable to continuing, there comes the delightful tradition of holding a squat position for 2 minutes straight. NO REST. Tibor's assurance that a 70 year old client of his completes this hellish task makes it pretty hard to moan and groan when he says "just a few more seconds". He's fit too, so there's that... (However you can take a break when he's not looking. Just make sure it’s well timed, there are mirrors EVERYWHERE).
And then just like that, you're allowed to un-squat and you can hear your own thoughts again. It's over, as quickly as it begun, twice as painful and three times as ugly. (Yeah you're gonna look ugly. Embrace it).
And boy do you feel GREAT. Don’t get me wrong, Boot Camp is an hour of hard graft, but it’s different to any
other workout I've tried and I really love it. Hell, I love it enough to quit Friday
night drinking. So A LOT. The studio is huge, the participants are friendly and the workout is damn great.What more could you ask for?
See ya'll there?! ;)
Leila
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