How to go to the gym and not be despised

Haven't done a fitness post in a while, but, it's party season - and you know what that means.
Christmas (pudding) is around the corner, New Year (booze) is a-knocking and before you know it you'll be stuffing your face with chick/bunny shaped chocolate then moaning you're not swimsuit ready. Off to the gym you'll drag your squat-deprived ass. Time to get lean, mean and sexy. A few weeks in and you're a fully-fledged, lycra-clad fitty. Flexing and sweating has never looked so good - got it down to a T, you fitspo, you.
Except maybe you don't, really. Maybe you're 'that guy' or 'that girl' - the bane of every gym goers life. Don't fancy being the social outcast?
Listen up and learn some etiquette from my extensive what NOT to do at the gym list; You're welcome.


 1) Curls in the squat rack - This is punishable by death (so I've heard). I won't pretend to be an expert on curling or squatting in any sort of rack - I'm all good with the floor. But still, it really pisses people off... and you want to fit in and make gym buddies for life don't you?!

 2) Save a shitload of bikes for your friends/friend's friends/neighbours and that nice lady you got coffee with that one time.
This is I think the most annoying thing probably ever. EVER. Not only do you have to creep out of lectures/meetings/everyday goings on at 1 o'clock everyday to book next weeks class, you've got to turn up half an hour before the class even starts just to guarantee yourself a bike to spin on. Coronary inducing stuff. You thought the gym was going to be a place to relax, unwind, generally improve your well-being? Think again. Get ready to fight tooth and nail to avoid getting stuck with the bike under the air-con.

3) Grunt like you're giving birth (or worse). Yep, thats a hell of a lot of weight, you're pretty hardcore. But I don't need to hear you from half-way across the gym. I'd say something to your face if you weren't three times my size, but you are, so I'll just moan behind your back.

4) Talk about your workout routine/personal training programme under any circumstances. No one cares. Actually scratch that. It's WORSE than no one cares, it's pretty damn annoying. Your 'zillion kg weighted super-sets' aren't big, aren't clever, and - lets be honest - aren't strictly accurate are they. (I've seen you and your predominantly green/yellow bar in body pump class).

5)Repulse anyone with your ungodly stench.
Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration right? Cool. Just make sure that success is 100 percent sweet smelling. Deodorant is SO on trend right now.

6) Flex your guns, pose and/or lift your shirt up revealing trojan-like abs of steel.
Don't be that guy (or girl). Yes, that's you in the mirror. Yes, you look great. Congrats! But the gym is not the time or place to check yourself out, or indeed stick your ass out and invite others to admire longingly. That's what instagram's for, duh! Go home, get yourself a full length mirror and a camera phone and have at it.
Following on from the above. Ladies, put your freaking hair up. And take off your hoop earrings. There ya go.

7) Use cheesy vom-inducing chat up lines when I'm trying my best to work out and ignore you.
 "Oh hey, you have great thighs, can I show you a awesome all over thigh toning exersise?"
"erm sure" (contentiously)
"It's really a partnership exersise..."
Well, you get my drift. Not okay - (Unless you're super-hot and just the right amount of arrogant that you can totally carry off lines like these).


and last but by NO MEANS least...

7) Let it all hang out in the changing rooms.
Seriously! Why oh why do people do this?! And, without meaning to sound like a judgemental bitch, why is it always the wrinkly, saggy biddies who insist on having it all on show?!
If you insist on being naked, PLEASE don't talk to me whilst drying/ touching your naked self in any way. Its just awkward. Oh and hair dryers are for drying the hair on your HEAD.

Follow these rules and you're well on the way to making friends who will save you a front-row bike in spin-class (if you can't beat 'em join 'em, right)

Good luck fitty!

Leila xoxo

Tartan army

Calvin Harris, David Tennant & THAT accent, the warm dram of single malt whiskey sours - Scotland is 'reel-dancing' its way into the encycolpedia of 'hot-right-now'. And the fashion pages are no exception; now Scotts may have invented tartan, but the fashion pack own it.
I'm yet to discover a piece which doesn't excell with an injection of this wonder print - be it full on or a subtle hint.
Thats the beauty; Whether you're going for 'Vivienne Westwood meets Mary Queen of Scotts' or you just want to dip your tippy-toe in the Lockness Monster's 'a la mode abode' - there's something for everyone.

Christina Ricci adorned in a knockout from the queen of tartan - Vivienne Westwood

Karl Lagerfield puts Scotland on the global fashion map

A tartan coat-lining at Chanel shows just how easy it is to work tartan into your wardrobe with a grown-up twist. Punky tailoring is the new elegant! Adding a scarf (as demonstrated on the right) is another simple way to work the trend.

Simply gorgeous - Subtle tartan at its best.

 My picks...

aaand on that (bagpipe) note - time to invest, perhaps?
Happy shopping

Leila xoxo

Sushi Saturday

Yes I know it's November; I was wearing a coat I promise, I just took it off for the photos.


























 My dad and I took a trip to Camden Town for a mooch round the market and a spot of street sushi.

I wore a short suit from River Island with Office Brogues and Topshop frilly socks - the only designer section of the ensamble was my tights (Pretty Polly).














As I made pretty clear in my last post, I am obsessed with this seasons two piece suits - and since short suits are my all time favourite I went crazy for this one.
The silk material, bold print and peter pan collar elements were all bonuses!

SUSHI <3






Borrowed (indefinitely) these frilly socks from my little sister. I love the contrast with black brogues and black tights - channeling my inner cat!

Kudos to dad for assuming photographer duties (snapping the pictures just before the dark started to draw in and it inevitably started to drizzle). Winter is upon us - but on the plus side I CANNOT WAIT TO CACOON MYSELF IN KNITWEAR. Watch this space!

Leila xxx

Match Made In Heaven

'Match' Made in Heaven...

Bikinis hanging dejectedly on the sale racks, winter embraces this season's two-piece.

 City-Slicker

Suit Jacket and skirt - Miss Selfridge

Modern Romantic

Tapered skinny trouser and oversized suit jacket - Topshop

Grown Up Rebel

Tartan skort and silk shirt - Topshop

 

Leila xoxo

3 is a magic number...

Snap, crackle, pop

Tic, Tac, Toe

Ready, set, go 

No - I'm not going mad. Just demonstrating the point that things come in threes - (unless you're Native American or Chinese - then it's four and five respectively). I read an article recently on the so-called 'three rule' - super interesting but came at a price; I now see 'threes' EVERYWHERE.

Anyway, In light of this I, Leila Saffron Glen, (we even have three names for crying out loud) am going to do a 'three' themed round up of the week. 

First and foremost - WHAT I BOUGHT:

1)Not going to lie, feeling pretty smug with myself. Asymmetric, tartan and a touch of leather? Nailed THREE trends in one *go me*.

2) Been seeing these overly fluffy jumpers everywhere for a while, but this is the best one I've seen so far. Gorgeous mustard colour and love the deep v-neckline.

 Now on the lookout for a floaty romantic skirt to wear with this and converse a la Ben Toms for Under The Influence #12 S/S 2013) >>>>>
























3) Already had disco pants in black, but these purple ones were calling out to me from the River Island Sale AND they're one size to big which means I can actually eat a meal/ sit down in them for long periods of time - BONUS. 

WHAT I NEED:

1) Isabel Marant for h&m. All of it.
 But I guess that's slightly unrealistic so this over-sized men's cardigan will do for now. And a few of the plain dove grey T-shirts - they look SO DESIGNER. 

2) Who says we have to give up shorts just because its winter?! 

3) Bit of a copy-cat version of Zara's wonder skort from last season I feel. But the colour's incredible and I prefer the slightly higher waist.

 and finally... WHAT ANNOYED ME:

1) Patronising, pig-ignorant football sexism - being asked by a shop assistant in Waitrose whilst wearing my full Chelsea get-up shirt and shorts (I went straight from the gym) if I could name THREE Chelsea players was... well - I have no words. His face though as I named the whole team striker to goalie PRICELESS. 

2) The fact that the moronic van driver winking/ yelling at me at the bus-stop has his driving license and I - STILL - am waiting for the bus. 

3) I really wanted this YSL lipstick (plummy gorgeousness - perfect for disguising those inevitable mulled-wine lip stains this festive season). But it only comes in the gift box for which I simply did not have the funds. Why put what I want in a gift box full of stuff I don't? ANNOYING.

To finish on a positive note though (which really I ought to) - my aunty bought the whole gift set and gave me the lipstick! What a babe <3

So, all in all good week. 

Three strikes and I'm out >>>>>>>>>

Leila xoxo

'Spayed' (here's hoping) in Chelsea...

It's Monday, It's 10 pm, the weekend is well and truly over but who cares; it's that time again! Time to find out what havoc our favorite canape nibbling socialites have been causing this week, sauntering around Chelsea young, free and erm...single? (Interchangeably so. We can't quite keep up).

My sister, mum and I prepare to become sofa bound for the hour as my dad miserably slopes off, returning sheepishly as soon as the Moet starts flowing and the trivial but oh-so-heart-wrenching shit starts going down.

Now as much as I mock, I can't deny the concept is genius; who doesn't want an insight into how the other half live? And it's not all sushi, coffees and drinks at the Bluebird (although there IS a lot of that).. Some of them have relationships outside the show, talents,  passions, and yes, even day-jobs! Over all they're a 'beaut' (don't get me started) group of young people, growing up before our very eyes and going through their (albeit privileged) lives for our entertainment. 

However, there is one thing that irked me about last weeks episode of E4's smash hit; faced with an hour of  'laddish' behavior I was almost ready to swear off boys for life. ALMOST being the operative word... (For fear of sounding like a twenty year-old baby spinster).

Spencer Mathews comes immediately to mind, his cheesy grin and insurmountable arrogance attracting many a girl to his honey pot of faithful promises - until the next cheating scandal that is. Jamie Laing gets a special mention too - his cute Peter Pan like exterior and happy-go-lucky outlook on life making him almost compulsorily lovable, whilst he flits from girl to girl saying whatever it takes to get himself out of many an inevitable messy situation, male organs unscathed. Even seemingly sweet new boy Alex got himself into bother last week, dropping current love interest Fran quicker than you could say 'Caviar and Champagne house warming at mine Binky?'.

I'm not generally a fan of sayings such as 'he has no balls' 'grow some balls' or various variations; they allude to the fact that being 'male' and therefore owning 'big balls' go hand in hand with courage, strength, guts, gallantry...Erm? You only have to look at The Made in Chelsea boys' unyielding concern for their man-parts to undermine the previous phallic sayings and replace them with my new personal favorite:

'If you have a dick, you are a dick'.

Stick that in your opening credit quotation marks...

p.s As mad as they make me, I just turned down arrangements in order to stay in tomorrow night and watch.

p.p.s  Jamie Laing I take it all back - feel free to date me).